It’s been a rough year. Last January we started looking at a house to rent because we were growing out of our apartment. After seeking counsel from many people we decided it would be wiser to buy instead of rent. To save extra money and not have to worry about signing a lease that we knew we’d have to break, we moved in with my mom in April. Our plan was to begin the hunt in June and hopefully be in a house soon after. We got everything squared away by July. We started looking at foreclosures mostly. We attempted to put a contract on 3 houses. The owner of the first house was very difficult to come to an agreement with so we walked away from that. The second house was perfect. We submitted an offer and then found out it didn’t qualify for the loan we were getting. The third house we tried to submit an offer on was purchased in cash that same morning. We felt lost after that. It’s hard on the emotions to find a house you like then have it taken out from under you. From the beginning we prayed that if God didn’t want us in a particular house that he would make it known immediately. Sure enough, that’s exactly what He did.
At this point I was losing hope. Nothing was working out, so maybe we just aren’t meant to have a house yet. Our agent started looking around for us and found one that I had completely overlooked. It looked perfect on paper, so we headed out to see it ASAP. It was as perfect in real life as it was on paper. It had everything we had wanted, without having to compromise on a single thing. We thought surely this has to be it. As we were leaving the property another couple showed up to see it. We started praying immediately. We loved this house and we didn’t want to lose it. Our agent called the selling agent to talk about submitting an offer. She was told it was already under contract. Great. Another hit in the face. We loved the house so much, so our agent kept calling to see if anything had fallen through. She got in touch with another agent at the agency and he said that she was given the wrong information and we could submit an offer. We were so relieved and excited! We submitted our offer and came to an agreement with the seller.
I had to go to the bank that day to get a certified check for the seller. The bank teller and I started chatting about the house. She said she and her husband had been looking at homes in the same area and really loved a particular house. She told me the address and I gasped. It was the same house! They had tried to submit an offer on Friday, but were given the same misinformation that we were. Because our agent was persistent, we were able to submit an offer the next Monday. If this wasn’t proof that God was protecting this house for us I didn’t know what was.
We had a closing date in September. About 3 weeks before the big day our lawyer found a problem with the title. The only way to correct it would be to reforeclose the home and push the closing date another couple months- which would mean we could lose the $8,000 tax credit. What a blow. A week later we were told, “They fixed the title, no need to reforeclose”. And a day later, “Oh sorry, we were wrong. It will have to be reforeclosed”. What an emotional roller coaster!
So here we sit. We have no idea what is going to happen. There is the possibility that the house could be auctioned off. If it doesn’t we will have to re-qualify for our loan and go through that process again.
It seemed like this was the place for us, so why all of these problems? I have to admit it has really tested my faith in God. Honestly, I felt like He deserted us. I know in my heart of hearts that isn’t the case, but I’m struggling so much in believing that God will work something out for us. We have grown so weary. I’ve been praying for rest and peace and have felt neither.
Brad and I had a talk the other night and he brought up a recent sermon at church. It was about service. He said, “we’ve been asking God for so much, but what have we done for Him?” I had been so drained emotionally that I couldn’t fathom giving any part of myself to helping others. We stopped trying to get to know people at church because we were too tired to put in the effort. We lost ourselves to self-pitty and worry. So now our goal is to stop focusing on ourselves and put that energy into what we can do for God.
I KNOW that God is teaching us so many things in this process. I’m thankful- well, at least trying really hard to be. Every bad situation I’ve been through in my life I’ve come out thankful and truly blessed. This is just a valley that we have to go through to make it to the mountain top. So, we will continue to be persistent in prayer and believe that God WANTS to and WILL bless us, one way or another.